


Secrets Locked in Stone

by Eristastic



Category: End Roll (Video Game)
Genre: Bittersweet, Found Family, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 09:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8097289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eristastic/pseuds/Eristastic
Summary: Since Russell walked in on him and Dogma doing unholy things in the church, Tabasa decides to talk it over with the kid, make sure it's all okay.It's not, but not in the way he imagined.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Mix of two requests I got: an anon with 'dogma/tabasa', and ao3 user MiniNephthys with 'something bittersweet with Tabasa acting like a big brother to Russell' (how could I resist)
> 
> There's some heavy necking at the start, but the rest of it definitely came out bittersweet. Heaven forbid I actually write fluff

There were more discreet places they could have gone to, of course. There always were, but there was something to be said for losing one’s reason in the heat of the moment, and – as such – they hadn’t even really hid. It was night, Cody wasn’t likely to come back to the church before morning, everything was quiet, so Tabasa had just decided ‘ _fuck it_ ’ and pushed Dogma against the back of a pew to kiss him.

That had been his first mistake.

The second had been the noise. Dogma was a mouthy person to begin with, given half a chance, and when he was pressed against a hard surface with Tabasa’s hands carding through his hair, he tended to let go a little. Breathy sighs and tiny, hitched gasps echoed through the vaulted ceiling of the church, and when Tabasa moved away to kiss along his jaw instead (something he’d wanted to try for days – Dogma had such a pretty, well-defined chin), the noises grew louder. They were only interrupted when the door creaked open.

Tabasa whirled around, his hands frozen where he’d been stroking down to the small of Dogma’s back. Dogma looked equally paralysed.

Russell didn’t. His hand still on the door handle, he said a small ‘sorry’ and walked out of the church, closing the door quietly behind him. His expression hadn’t changed even once.

Dogma collapsed against the pew, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes. “Oh God,” he said. “Oh, God, forgive me this…”

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Tabasa said, worrying about it. He straightened his shirt and tried to regulate his breathing. Getting a grip was not as easy as he’d hoped it would have been, and he had to sit down on the pew behind him.

“Why, pray, would I not worry about this? He _saw_ us, Tabasa! That poor young child saw something so…so…”

Tabasa nodded, looking back at the closed door. “I know. But I still think you shouldn’t worry about it. It’s Russell: I don’t think he’d bat an eyelid even if he walked in on us doing something far worse than just kissing.”

“I can never show my face outside again,” Dogma decided, still staring at the ceiling hollowly. There was something decidedly charming about him like that, with his hair just falling back from his forehead, his throat a smooth curve underneath the jut of his chin. Tabasa bent down to kiss it, because he was never one for unnecessary self-restraint. Dogma squawked.

“Don’t just _do_ that!”

“Sorry.”

“You are _not_.” He sighed, straightening back up, and tried to do something about the jumble of creases and wrinkles that were his robes. “I may have to become a recluse, Tabasa. I need to repent. I must go and find peace with myself.”

Tabasa made a sound of mild interest, since he knew that Dogma had a tendency to exaggerate things. “I understand where you’re coming from, but maybe leave that until tomorrow? Talk it over with Cody. As for me, I’ll talk to Russell. I doubt there’s actually anything to smooth over there, but you’ll feel better if I at least try, right?” He finished fixing his cuffs and looked up, smiling.

Dogma looked reverent. “Tabasa… You truly are a miracle.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Come on: I don’t think Russell’s going to come back tonight, so how about we…?” He put a hand on Dogma’s jaw, stroking a thumb over his lips and feeling incredibly confident. It was amazing what some of that old-fashioned alcohol of Kantera’s did to you.

Dogma seemed to be feeling it too: he didn’t waste any time in making good use of Tabasa’s fingers. It wasn’t long before the church was echoing again.

 

*

 

Tabasa’s suspicions that Russell hadn’t been fazed at all were only supported the next day, when Russell answered a casual invitation to lunch with a shrug. That would have been disappointing from anyone else, but from Russell, Tabasa recognised it as enthusiastic acceptance. So here he was, sitting at the small kitchen table on the second floor of Tabasa’s house, playing with a bright blue shard of something Tabasa wasn’t going to ask about.

Meanwhile, Tabasa cooked.

Neither of them spoke, but it was a comfortable silence. Not all of them were, with Russell. You got the feeling the kid was hiding things too big for his body; it was like one day you’d turn around and you’d find him hardened into stone, crumbling under the weight of whatever he was carrying. It was an odd image, Tabasa thought as he turned up the heat and added a dash of cream cheese to the pan, but that was the one he got from Russell. Odd kid.

Odd kid, but Tabasa liked him just fine all the same, no matter how little emotion he showed, or how ruthlessly he cut down monsters, or how many secrets he had.

Very odd kid.

“Can you get some plates out?” he asked, turning off the heat. Russell did so, and Tabasa served up, the last of the sizzling fading away into nothingness. Their village was never very noisy, so he’d got used to it, but now it was like the world had shrunk down to just this: the two of them sitting at Tabasa’s rickety old table, with an awful lot of unsaid words waiting to be let out.

A little bit awkward, but he wasn’t going to let it get to him.

“What’s this?” Russell asked, looking down at the plate.

“Egg mess.” It did look a mess, but there was nothing wrong with it: just cabbage and egg and cheese and some day-old cooked vegetables from Gardenia he’d found in the fridge, all fried up with seasoning. He couldn’t boast exemplary culinary skills, so if he wasn’t buying ready meals then he was usually left with this kind of cooking. It wasn’t _bad_ , but it wasn’t exactly attractive.

Russell looked at it in a way Tabasa would have called wary, but this was Russell, so you could never be quite sure. “…I have pills,” he said, taking out his bag.

Was that cheek? Did Russell just use cheek?

“I know you have pills, but you can’t live off pills alone,” he said, and Russell obediently put the bag away, after a brief hesitation. “You can’t live off capsules either, before you say that. And Gardenia’s cooking is a good start, but try this too. Is there anything you can’t eat in it? Sorry: I probably should have asked that first…”

But Russell shook his head, stuck his fork in and began to eat. For all he’d complained, he didn’t seem to have any actual trouble eating.

After some minutes had gone by, Tabasa decided there was no point in putting it off any longer. “I have something I wanted to talk to you about,” he said, as casually as he could.

Russell stiffened, his scuffed knuckles going white on the fork. And then the blood rushed back and he took another bite. He nodded. “I know.”

“It’s about…yesterday. I mean…geez, this is really awkward, but…”

“It’s okay,” Russell said in that small, quiet voice of his, like emotion was something that happened to other people. “I understand.”

“You understand?” Tabasa frowned. “What do you understand?”

The fork was placed very carefully on the edge of the plate, just balancing on the edge. Russell put his hands in his lap and looked down. He seemed surprised to be asked, but answered anyway. “I know what happens when people…get into relationships.”

For a split second, Tabasa’s blood went cold at the thought of the conversation turning to sex, but it stayed cold for a very different reason. Russell’s arms were trembling, much as he tried to hide it.

“It’s okay,” he said like he was reading off a script. “I know that adults like that kind of thing. I don’t mind, so it’s okay if you can’t spend time with me anymore. Don’t feel like you have to just because you once did.” Then, as if for good measure, he said again, “It’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay, and Tabasa couldn’t even voice why. Russell had stopped trembling and he didn’t look about to cry – his expression hadn’t changed at all, as if that meant anything – but there was something very wrong hanging over them.

Tabasa didn’t know what to do. He knew how to handle animals: animals did their own thing, and he felt at home with them. He didn’t know what to do with a kid like Russell, so he just got up slowly, reached over the table, and ruffled the boy’s hair.

“I’m not going to stop spending time with you,” he said.

“It’s okay if you do.”

“Well, yeah, I guess, but I’m not going to. I _like_ you, Russell. You’re like a little brother to me. I _want_ to spend time with you. Just because I’ve also got a boyfriend doesn’t change anything about that. We’ve been together for ages, anyway, since before you came here: nothing’s going to change.”

Russell looked up at that, and Tabasa pulled his hands away from the shaggy blonde hair, sitting down again. There was still something heavy in the air – he could almost taste it – but Russell’s eyes had widened a little and he wasn’t staring at his legs like he wanted to incinerate them, so that seemed like a good sign. Tabasa wished he knew what was going on, not that there was any point in asking. They’d tried, they all had, but Russell didn’t talk about his past. So Tabasa was just left wondering what it meant for a kid to assume he’d be abandoned when the adults in his life got into relationships.

Although really, it was obvious: what was there to wonder about?

Tabasa tried for a smile. “I promise I’m not going to stop spending time with you, okay? Neither’s Dogma, or anyone. We all like you, Russell. So don’t worry, yeah? I’m still going to be your big brother.”

Russell didn’t say anything, but there was the barest hint of a smile on his face when he nodded. Tabasa let the subject drop, and they both went back to eating in relative silence. There was still a weight hanging over them, but that was for another day, Tabasa figured. He’d work it out one day, or Russell would tell him one day, and until then, there was this, whatever ‘this’ was. He had to be content with it – and he was, really – if he wanted to get anywhere with this boy.

This quiet, quiet boy. A maze of half-clues that were hastily covered up behind stone before Tabasa could even begin to work them out.

He wondered if anyone had ever bothered to try.

 


End file.
